Adolfo Uribe por Juan Sebastián Rojas

Adolfo Uribe por Juan Sebastián Rojas

Adolfo Uribe

Fuimos testigos de las escenas de tortura y asesinato con el fin de confirmar que lo visto no cambiará nuestro parecer. La fe prima sobre lo que vemos. Si, por supuesto, como cristianos lamentamos la masacre de seres humanos, tenemos también que homenajear a los asesinos por habernos permitido encausarnos en el sendero del bienestar y la vida. Es cierto que simpatizamos con ellos cada vez más.

‒ Se convirtieron, para decirlo así, en la espada medicinal del cielo para curar a una nación enferma.

Y, definitivamente, llevamos a los más insignes de ellos al Congreso. Nos colaboraron en nuestra tarea, pagándonos falsos testigos para sustentar la verdad, que es dolorosa pero necesaria. Es manipulada, pero todos los medios se justifican para no vivir en la oscuridad. Es cara, pero lo es más el castrochavismo.

‒ Jugar con las cabezas de los campesinos apiadaba tanto a los amantes del fútbol como a quienes prefieren el ciclismo.
Íbamos hasta realizar espectaculares telenovelas sobre el paso por el mundo de nuestros buenos muertos, que cautivarían a millones de telespectadores nocturnos. Pero tales prácticas disgustaron a los anunciadores, que temían ser afectados por una imagen negativa de la marca de sus balones de fútbol.

‒Les pedimos entonces únicamente tirar los cadáveres al río con los vientres llenos de piedras.

Numerosas familias nos deben las gracias por no ponerlos a recrear el mito de Osiris en la parte de la búsqueda desesperada de su cuerpo despedazado. Pero no nos pidan la localización de las fosas comunes, ya que dársela sería una traición a la patria.

‒ Acusan a la policía de asesinar sin intermediarios a los líderes sociales, de ponerles los mismos escoltas que los van a matar.
Les recuerdo pese a todo que la mayoría de los miembros de la policía han sido gente humilde que ha sido víctima directa del terrorismo, y que el director mismo de la policía ha perdido a sus padres y esposa luchando contra este cáncer. Ellos han constatado que no es con derechos humanos que unos salvajes van a permitir la paz en la república. Es con el miedo a una mano dura que ellos y sus hijos van a civilizarse.

‒ La policía los ha torturado con respeto y afección.

Procurando adaptarnos al siglo XXI con la equidad de género, hemos exigido que haya tantos policías hombres como mujeres, lo que no ocurre con los terroristas, quienes, además de reclutar niños y maltratar los animales con “burros-bomba”, apenas tienen una representante femenina para sus viciados acuerdos de paz.

‒ Pero no podemos impedir que las mujeres policías sean menos brutales que los hombres, ya que Dios las hizo así.

En pocas palabras, estamos orgullosos de la gran limpieza que vive nuestro país, duélale a quien le duela. Porque ninguna Roma nace sin violencia. La historia de Rómulo y Remus, por ejemplo. Porque somos cristianos y, para cuestiones de seguridad, romanos. Porque, si estuviera todavía entre nosotros, Adolfo Uribe sería de los nuestros. Participaría con nosotros en esta aventura para ganarnos el paraíso.

‒ Nos envía águilas desde el Cielo.

Juan Sebastián Rojas Miranda (Bogotá, Colombia, 7 de abril de 1988): Docente de la universidad Santiago de Cali. Cursó estudios literarios en la universidad Paris Nanterre, hasta obtener el título de doctor en Literatura Comparada en abril del 2016.

Es editor de Ediciones El Silencio y director de Pluralis, revista sobre la diáspora colombiana. Diana o ¡Que viva el reguetón! es su segunda novela, después de El inmortal (Madrid, Editorial Verbum, 2016). También es autor del libro de poesía y relatos En busca de nada (Bogotá, Editorial Oveja Negra y Editorial USC, 2018).

Su novela Fóllale, Manco fue finalista del Premio Iberoamericano Verbum de Novela 2018 y publicada (Madrid y Cali, Editorial Verbum y Ediciones El Silencio, 2018).

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