Apocalipsis

Apocalipsis

Apocalipsis

La burocracia es únicamente prescindible cuando se trata de autodestruirnos con el planeta incluido. Basta con que algún loco de arriba dé la orden de bombardear al enemigo, para saltarse cualquier administración. La gente está cansada de diligenciar formatos para ganarse su miserable sueldo y, de paso, para pagar los impuestos, cuyo recaudo será mayoritariamente destinado a las arcas de la defensa. A mí no me importaría que este mundo termine de incendiarse, con tal de que el Estado nos saque de la era de la burocracia. El poco tiempo libre que tenemos los pequeños empleados, lo emplearíamos en caminar por el parque, platicando con nuestros colegas como si fuéramos filósofos del siglo de las luces. O haríamos cualquier cosa. Por ejemplo, nada. Toma tiempo no hacer nada, lo que es imposible con tanta formatitis. Cuando Dios terminó el crótalo, el sapo, la sanguijuela, el esquirol y el filipichín, le sobró en las manos algo de arcilla inmunda para hacer el diseñador de formatos que, no contento con echárnoslos como albardas para ser diligenciados, pide además soportes. Dante Alighieri hubiera podido describir un círculo adecuado para estos mal nacidos que nos meten por el sieso el miembro genital de una economía afanada por hacer cifras para competir en un mercado leonino con cabeza de rata. Unas cifras que serán modificadas para poder esconder dinero en los paraísos fiscales, donde se lava el botín del narcotráfico, que no precisa de burocracia y, sin embargo, es vital para nuestro país porque contiene la devaluación.

Una humanidad moderna no nacerá ciertamente gracias a un tablero Excel, verde como los árboles que talan en el Amazonas para entregárselos a China, para darle más potrero al ganado destinado a las parillas con las que compiten los argentinos y los brasileños, para arrinconar a tribus indígenas que le tienen pavor a la civilización. Desarrollemos más la inteligencia artificial, la nanotecnología, la informática, y construyámonos como una sociedad con chips en la nuca y robots capaces de declarar la renta por nosotros, hacernos tanto el check in como el check out en los hoteles, inscribir a nuestros niños a los colegios privados, asegurando con sus calculadoras a partir de cuándo dejáremos de pagar la deuda y se la pasaremos a nuestros hijos. No nos compliquemos más la vida con las relaciones amorosas, que son la burocracia más antigua. En ellas se exigen contratos sociales, familiares y sexuales, a cambio de mucho sufrimiento y una onza de goce. Retornemos al comercio amoroso practicado en el siglo XVIII por los franceses, que es mucho más claro. Con la ayuda de la ciencia lo volveremos más eficiente, de manera que con un chasquido de dedos se realice la compra para tener hogar, un lecho nupcial para compartirlo con la esposa y las amantes, todas cibernéticas, bebés sin ano para no tener que cambiar pañales y mascotas castradas y programadas para tirarse a un caño o perderse en un bosque, cuando ya no precisemos más de su compañía. Los eruditos serán los únicos burócratas restantes. Instalados en un monasterio, seguirán los pasos de los copistas medievales, organizando el conocimiento que a nadie más interesa. Clasificarán a Kafka en la sesión de libros kafkianos, cuyas realidades a las generaciones futuras les parecerán realmente absurdas.

‒Estos monjes inofensivos serán perdonados por el ángel exterminador. Y así, casi sin burocracia, la mayoría de los humanos podrá concentrarse para superar la biblia con la última obra de arte: el Apocalipsis.

Juan Sebastián Rojas Miranda (Bogotá, Colombia, 7 de abril de 1988): Docente de la universidad Santiago de Cali. Cursó estudios literarios en la universidad Paris Nanterre, hasta obtener el título de doctor en Literatura Comparada en abril del 2016.

Es editor de Ediciones El Silencio y director de Pluralis, revista sobre la diáspora colombiana. Diana o ¡Que viva el reguetón! es su segunda novela, después de El inmortal (Madrid, Editorial Verbum, 2016). También es autor del libro de poesía y relatos En busca de nada (Bogotá, Editorial Oveja Negra y Editorial USC, 2018).

Su novela Fóllale, Manco fue finalista del Premio Iberoamericano Verbum de Novela 2018 y publicada (Madrid y Cali, Editorial Verbum y Ediciones El Silencio, 2018).

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